Saturday, October 20, 2007

Looking forward to greater things...

I look forward to the day when someone asks me "How's it going?" and I can enthusiastically and honestly answer, "All is great!" The loss of Jason and Kaylyn's twins has been incredibly difficult. I hate that they are hurting as much as they are. Burying Jason Jr. and Joshua Lyn was hard enough, in and of itself, but it seemed to bridge a double meaning.

Burying those precious little ones also seemed to serve as a time for me to bury my hopes of being a mother. Seeing how Kaylyn and Jason literally clung to each other during this horrific time helped me realize that neither Wayne nor I cling to each other in times of crisis. We are both much too self-protective and there are issues of trust that seem next to impossible to resolve.

I was also so touched and encouraged by how many compassionately handled the loss of these unborn lives and in absolute shock how irreverent and cold some were with all that was happening. Guess I'll never cease to be amazed at how high humanity is capable of soaring and how low it may also sink...I suppose this contrast is God being in one's heart and the effects of a fallen world.

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