This past month has been difficult. I am changing, for the better, I believe, but nonetheless, change seems to "rock the boat". Unfortunately, I still allow conflict and threat of abandonment to throw me into chaotic thoughts and emotions but hopefully, I am learning better ways to deal with what I have always adamantly attempted to avoid.
I'm not sure what the future holds for me in any regard to relationships, job situation, familial relationships etc. but I do know that God is holding me securely in His hands and I have asked that His will be done ABOVE ALL so now to only have the faith to BE STILL, wait it out and see where He leads.
I am reconsidering the possibility of becoming an RN but it's merely a thought on the back burner. I have rediscovered the passion for teaching but the thought of doing so for another 20-30 years is a lil' overwhelming. I need to keep in mind, "Do not worry about tomorrow..."
I am so enjoying my students this year and surprisingly, really enjoying having a student teacher. Mandy is so good with the kids and she is so receptive and flexible to whatever comes about. Having the opportunity to work with her has been a true blessing. I cannot believe how fast this semester is going by.
I am excited for a friend who has recently taken hold of a long-time hope of becoming a DPS Chaplain. I am excited and am, prayerfully, looking forward to where this new ministry may lead him, personally, as well as opportunities for those of us within the congregation.
Our 2nd dog Abby is expecting puppies any day now so I am looking forward to that. I only hope I am home when she is giving birth. I love to be a small part of such miracles. I also want to be here to insure the health and safety of her and the new pups.
Wayne, Raynard, Sandra and I closed on the "land deal" today. I am still struggling with feelings of resentment that I am praying will rescind. It was far more difficult than I had anticipated sitting through the process and repeatedly signing paper after paper. We all went out to eat afterwards. I spent some time alone for the remainder of the afternoon and ended up going to bed around 6 p.m. The emotional exhaustion from the past couple of weeks has caught up with me along with recovering from one of those yucky 24-hour viruses.
This is the first weekend since school began that I have not brought home "work" so I am looking forward to catching up on household tasks and having the time to visit with friends I haven't seen in a while. I am also hoping to take the time for some correspondence to dear friends who have recently lost loved ones. Even when death is anticipated, the grief is still difficult to bear. May God bless those, such as Kaylyn and Jason, who were totally caught off guard by the losses of their children. May He use me in any way to be a source of strength, comfort, and encouragement to them.