This past week has been memorable. I am really enjoying working with Mandy and am slowly relinquishing control of my class to her for the next few weeks. Letting go hasn't been as hard as I had imagined because I feel "freed up" to do some classroom tasks that never seem to be a priority. I have been able to plan a little bit ahead and I do not have to bring so much stuff home. The kids also adore her though a few are still trying to figure out just how far they can push. The most difficult part for me has been in keeping quiet when I see that the kids are taking advantage of her. I've teased about needing to get one of those doggy-shock collars so that she can push a button when I am about to open my mouth, snap my fingers or raise my eyebrows.
Tuesday of this past week was bizarre, to say the least. Mandy and I were team teaching and playing a fake-competition with the kids and I had one of those "intrusive memory moments" that caused my blood pressure to skyrocket. Apparently, I turned beet red and then eerily white---I could inwardly feel the panic but didn't realize that I was having outward signs until one of the kids mentioned that I looked funny. It was downhill from there. Thankfully, Mandy took up the slack and the kids’ day hardly missed a beat.
I left campus as soon as possible to go to the doctor because the spike in blood pressure was causing nausea and dizziness and the anti-anxiety medicines didn't seem to be helping at all. The clinic was closed for lunch so I went down to the church building to sit with Kay and Betsey until it re-opened. The minute I saw Kay, I started bawling and probably scared the poor woman to death. Sweet Betsey immediately called Jim. I was there for about an hour feeling foolish until Jim arrived.
He and I talked for a while. Actually, he talked...I sat, stared, cried, and excused myself a couple of times because of being so sick to my stomach. He, wholeheartedly, assured me that this reaction was "a normal, healthy breakthrough and to be expected". Unfortunately, I wasn't able to find much reassurance in that idea. I ended up falling asleep in the youth lounge after finally being able to 'keep down' some Sprite and crackers and spent the majority of the afternoon with a small group of some of the kindest people I have ever met.
I didn't go home until Wayne was home from work. He was amazingly understanding and supportive throughout the evening. Wednesday was pretty much a blur despite returning to my routine and the exhaustion hit early that evening.
Amy, Melynda, Susan and I were talking Thursday and they helped me to see that this was one more "(?)memory" that would never be able to catch me off guard again and even more proof that, THROUGH GOD, I AM STRONG ENOUGH to handle whatever comes my way.
The rest of the week went well. School has been chaotically busy. Wayne is buried under A&M assignments. Holiday plans are in the making. The days are flying by. 'Tis the season, I suppose.
Raynard, Sandra, and Wayne are working hard on the newly bought property. I still have mixed-feelings about the whole thing. Due to asthmatic and allergy reactions, I wasn't able to help out in the first steps of the process. I am still battling resentment so it was, probably, actually better for all for me to not be involved.
Michael and Candace are going to help me paint the downstairs over the Thanksgiving Break. Candace feels strongly that this is a "pick-me-up" that I desperately need. They are cracking me up because I am not a decorator BY ANY MEANS and they seem more excited than I do about making the changes and I am thrilled with the idea. I was headed to Lowe's today to pick out some colors but they called last night after making the trip themselves and have an assortment of ideas ready to go. Wayne and I are going over there this afternoon for the recording of Micheal's and Wayne's 3rd speech so we'll take the next step in the painting process afterwards. I'm looking forward to a fun project.