Monday, January 26, 2009

Self Talk, Soul Talk Ch. 4 (personal reflections)

(Posted a lil' bit early this week.)

http://leliachealey.blogspot.com/2008/11/next-blog-study-book.html

The words of Jennifer Rothschild in Chapter 4 "Speaking Truth to Your Issues" amazed and blessed me in more ways than I could describe.

I was tickled by Jennifer's wordings about the lady who reached out to touch only the hem of Jesus' garment to receive healing. I had never thought about how that woman of great faith had some serious self-talk going on and how that "...self talk was based on on truth and dependent on the trustworthiness of Christ..." (pg. 50)

The majority of my life has been filled with with faulty assumptions. My "roots" (aka faulty assumptions) were built up of thoughts such as: "It must be my fault...if I hadn't asked/wanted/needed xxxx then this bad thing wouldn't have happened...I'm a bother...I'm a burden...I must smile and always act as if all is well or my world could be destroyed..." These roots have caused issues that have complicated and nearly stole my very life.

Jennifer mentioned on page 47: "We find ourselves with one defining circumstance in our lives that becomes the headwaters from which many other issues originate and flow." I'm not yet sure I've discovered that 'one defining circumstance' but am growing in supernatural ways while in the process of sorting through life's experiences and circumstances.

The importance of developing wise soul-talk took on a deeper meaning as I read through this chapter. I had one of those huge "A-HA moments" when reading the words on page 49: "Soul talk can never be a substitute for faith...When soul talk is independent of of our relationship with God, we are destined to be frustrated by our own human limitations."

This journey of healing began in the office of a secular licenced professional counselor. She was kind, comforting, and helped me to some degree. I did learn specific steps and tools while working with her yet no amount of "self-help-books" or "positive affirmations" were releasing the death-grip that I felt was on my very soul.

It wasn't until a friend of mine encouraged me to talk with a "spiritually-minded-counselor" that the dark despair that was enveloping my life began to dissipate. I had grown up in religion since infancy yet had never truly "met" Jesus. June 2, 2007 changed my life/my heart in more ways than I ever would've imagined possible.

I grew up in a religion that did not teach much on the Holy Spirit so the "Four Roles of the Spirit" that were discussed in this book were especially insightful and helpful. I still find myself struggling with the words on page 55: "Does this match up with the truth of the Bible?" I am frequently wondering how one can be sure of what is "true", especially in terms of doctrinal issues. The fact that 2 wise, good-hearted, educated, God-loving and God-fearing people can read the same words in the Bible yet come up with 2 totally different interpretations still confuses me. Hmmmm...maybe those thoughts are for another study :).

End of Chapter Questions:
1. What kind of issues crowd your thought closet? Issues of self-doubt, shame, and the paralyzing fear of being a burden on/to others though these thoughts ARE being replaced with the truths I am finding in God's Word.
2. Are you relying on your self-control or the Spirit's control in your life? I am learning how to relinquish my control to the Spirit but the Holy Spirit is a fairly new concept that I am trying to wrap my mind around so unfortunately, that relinquishment hasn't come as easily or quickly as I had hoped.
3. Which of the four roles of the Spirit do you need most in your life? Most definitely, the Counsel of the Spirit. The idea/TRUTH of having one who is safe...wise...objective...(and) absolutely committed to (my) ultimate good" (pg. 53) is a relationship that I have always longed for yet never felt that it was available or at least, attainable. The Truth that this is available fills my heart with joy and hope.

8 comments:

  1. Stacy,

    I read your post from yesterday. Remember, God loves you and in Him anything is possible.

    I've added you to my prayer list. I hope things are better for you soon.

    Just wanted to drop by and thank you for commenting on my I remember when post. However, my first husband died 31 years ago. I was a single mother for many years and then 20 years ago, I married a second time.

    Take care and keep your eyes heavenward.

    Blessings,
    Mary

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  2. Stacy, you honed in on several of the same quotes from this chapter that I highlighted as I read. I appreciate sharing your journey, dear one - we are all walking the road of replacing Satan's lies with God's Truth. Fruitful traveling to all!

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  3. I'm with you, Stacy. I battle much of that same self-talk. Giving the Holy Spirit the reigns is something that I have to choose from day to day. I spent so many years just making it moment to moment...being the only one who would take care of me. It has only been recently that I realized I can trust Him to take care of me. Something I have never really had. It was an amazing realization.

    This study is opening up places that I thought were already healed. Sigh. I guess I'll always be a work in progress.

    :)Laura

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  4. Stacy,
    I can relate to so much of what you say - it is quite amazing really. I think that's one of the biggest benefits of the blog study, I realize I am not alone. And neither are you. I too grew up going to church, doing good and all of that, but never knew Him! I just posted about this last week - sharing my story, shining his light if you want to check it out. There are still things I don't understand, but that is good - faith is a journey, not a destination. And really God doesn't expect us to arrive, but He longs for us to keep moving forward. Looking forward to doing just that!
    Blessings,
    jill

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  5. You know your question about what is true....I have finally decided about ALL things that as long as I am humbly seeking Him then I can trust Him for what I need to know or hear. To me the A-Ha moments are glorious...they are different for everyone...even when we read the same Words. God knows what we need, He allows all so we can rest in Him. I think it sounds so exciting what God is doing in your life. YOU GO GIRL! You are loved!

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  6. Stacy,
    So much of the same stuff in my thought closet...it is bothersome. But, my A-HA moment came with the same sentence as yours. It is all about our faith!
    Let's walk in that today!

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  7. Stacy,

    I'm so glad your apart of this study with us. I am enjoying getting to know you as well through your posts.

    Your joy of knowing how much the Holy Spirit is on your side made me joyful too. I'm so glad you finally met Jesus.

    I agree it is confusing sometimes how 2 people can read the same scripture and see it so different, that I believe is where we have to learn to quiet ourselves to listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit. This for me is a battle because I have a noisy mind. :)

    You are a joy.

    Love,
    Carol

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