Monday, January 19, 2009

Tough Days but a Tougher God

This past week has been difficult. I have been assured that what I am feeling is "normal" but it is so out of character for me that it leaves me feeling a bit overwhelmed. Losing 2 loved ones within a 3 week time period has, apparently, placed me on the roller-coaster cycle of grief.

I am feeling confused because I have had much loss in my life, in a variety of circumstances, yet have never experienced this depth of emotion. Again, I've been assured that if my reactions/emotions are 'out of the ordinary from my past reactions', then I can rest secure in knowing that it is better than the way I've handled grief in the past. I guess I simply wasn't expecting the means of handling things in a "healthier way" still causing so much pain. This too shall pass...

For those of you pray-ers out there, please remember my dad in your prayers. He and I no longer share a relationship, but he is in my heart and mind daily. I recently found out that he has been diagnosed with terminal cancer. At this point in time, it remains best that I keep my distance, which some of you may understand, adds to the self-imposed feelings of guilt and personal failure. I know that those thoughts are not from God and am battling them moment-by-moment in prayer, Scripture, and dearly loved friends.

A new week has begun and I am praying for wisdom, clarity, and strength.

5 comments:

  1. Dear one, you and your dad are both in my prayers.

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  2. Stacy,

    I came by from Denise's blog and I loved the transparency of your heart here. It is a wise woman who prays for wisdom and I will join you in your prayers.

    I had a very tenuous relationship with my father for years...that has been resolved now thanks to the Lord's leading.

    I pray the Lord's richest blessings for you today. Hugs from Florida!

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  3. Hi Stacy! I am also over from Denise's place - your sincerity makes me want to come back again. There was an extended time when it was not God's will for me to be in direct relationship with my earthly father. It takes great faith and courage to listen to that command, especially when fellow believers do not understand. Just remember, God doesn't necessarily need you "on site" to do a great work in both you and your father. Blessings to you this day!

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  4. Stacy,
    I am praying for you and your father. Grief is difficult, I know. (much loss in my life recently also) I pray that God will give you rest, peace, and that He will quiet your soul and your mind. Rest in Him, dear Friend. Thank you for your transparent post.
    Hugs from around the corner! (Flower Mound)

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  5. Oh, my goodness, Stacy. I am so sorry for this pain. It is never easy to lose someone, and now this with your father. I pray for you, friend. Life is messy and complicated. God's love covers it all.

    You are a very brave lady and I am so grateful to hear you turn to Him during this uncertain time.

    Sending hugs and prayers,

    Laura

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