Saturday, February 14, 2009

ABC's of the Word: B---a bit early :)

http://greylikesnuffie.blogspot.com/2009/02/abcs-of-worda.html
Psalm 46:10 (New Living Translation)
10 “Be still, and know that I am God!

God has been impressing this verse upon my heart for the past month or so. This is a concept that I find difficult to comprehend, much less apply.

I grew up, in both my physical home and religious home, where your performance meant EVERYTHING. You were defined by what you did and by what you failed to do. The failures always seemed to mean more.

Psalm 139:23 "Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: …” and the classic children’s song “Oh, be careful little eyes what you see (ears…hear, feet…go, hands…do, mouth…say) for the Father up above is looking down in love…” filled my heart with fear. I, somehow or another, never grasped the words “…in love”; I just knew God was watching and that was not a comforting idea.

One of my dad’s much-used phrases was “Well, if you ever forget what you were doing on (day), or (time), just come to me and I’ll tell you…I’ve got eyes everywhere…” My dad claimed to not care about what type of activities I was involved in (good or bad) as long as he was aware of the activity and in some way in control of the situation. He claimed the relationship was built upon the importance of honesty. I was frequently being punished for the most absurd things---it didn't bother him if I were with friends who were partying hard with alcohol and illicit sex yet most associations with my Christian family/youth group/etc. led to reprimands/punishment in some sort of way. Needless to say, I grew up in a state of mental anguish and confusion that has just recently began to become unraveled, explored, and healed. I thank the Lord for His persistent love and for the AMAZING ways that He has always placed at least one person in my life, at all times, that contradicted my dad’s demands upon my life and upon my soul.

http://www.dictionary.com/ defines the word “still“ as:

  • remaining in place or at rest

  • motionless

  • free from sound or noise

  • subdued or low in sound

  • to silence or hush

  • to calm

  • to free from turbulence or commotion

  • peaceful

  • tranquil

  • to calm

  • to quiet, subdue, or cause to subside

  • to become still or quiet
While studying about this verse, I've learned that this form of calm does not mean facing a problem-free life. It is a thoughtful consideration on the history of God’s promises and care. (Romans 15:4: Such things were written in the Scriptures long ago to teach us…) Being “still” is not about your capabilities, achievements or failures, it is about what you KNOW about God.

John J. Parsons (http://www.hebrew4christians.com/Meditations/Be_Still/be_still.html)
remarked that “…this verse is not so much about meditation as it is about the mediation of God’s kingdom in the heart of faith. The command to “be still” comes from the word “rapha” (meaning to be weak, to let go, to release), which might better be translated as cause yourselves to let go”…We “let go” in order to objectively know the saving power of God in our lives. We give up trusting in ourselves and our own desires and our own designs to in order to experience the glory of God’s all-sufficiency…When we confess the truth about who we really are---weak, feeble, and ineffectual…we can surrender our desire to control outcomes and entrust the care of the world to God.”
I , long ago, committed my life to being in control of any and all personal situations. My heart’s greatest desire was to not be hurt in the ways that I had been hurt in the past. I have spent a tremendous amount of time and energy trying to prove that I am strong, that I will not be crushed, nor would I be controlled. I have been self-sufficient, self-motivated, and self-protective. My reliance has not been upon God. My reliance has been upon myself. I only just realized how sinfully arrogant that personal commitment is.
I wish that I could say that my existence has instantly been transformed, but for reasons beyond my current understanding, I am stubbornly resisting this truth. I still fear the idea of letting go. I still fear not being in control. I still doubt the capabilities of God. When I cross-referenced this verse, the following verses were noted:
  • Deuteronomy 31:6: "Be strong and courageous. Do not fear or be in dread of them, for it is the LORD your God who goes with you. He will not leave you or forsake you."
  • 2 Chronicles 20:17: "You will not need to fight in this battle. Stand firm, hold your position, and see the salvation of the LORD on your behalf…Do not be afraid and do not be dismayed the LORD will be with you."
  • Isaiah 41:10: "...fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

They say the 1st step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. I am confessing this sin and desperately praying that the Lord will soften my heart and open my mind to not only accepting the truth that I need not fear, that I have never had the proposed strength or power I tried to claim was mine but that I will also LIVE OUT this truth and that my every thought, word, action, and decision be exemplified in the knowledge and application of BEING STILL and KNOWING HE IS GOD.

6 comments:

  1. Bless your precious heart, happy valentines day.

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  2. Stacy

    Your heart is revealed in this post. I understand the feelings of wanting to be in control, and the fear of letting go. It's a daily prayer, and one I fail at regularly. May the Lord reassure you of His continuious unconditional love, and that by Him being in control your heart will feel peace.

    Love,
    Carol

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  3. Stacy, I related to EVERY WORD you shared from your heart. Be gentle with yourself - pride is the oldest sin in the Book, and we all struggle against it every day. I am well familiar with the bondage of self-reliance. What I did to survive eventually becomes a handicap. It helps me to remember that it took many years for my thinking to become distorted and that it might take a few more to unravel the real truth. God is with me on this journey, as He is with you!

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  4. Wow, Stacy,
    I have some of the same issues you do, and some of those verses, such as the battle being the Lords, are some God repeatedly leads me to.

    I think we have both mentioned wanting people to like us, and being defensive at times. I also would prefer to be in control of situations. This post was awesome, and if you haven't read chapter 7 yet, it goes right along with it.

    I love how God is working in us!

    Blessings,
    Sue

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  5. Oh Stacy this is a wonderful post.

    "Being “still” is not about your capabilities, achievements or failures, it is about what you KNOW about God." hmmmmm

    much to ponder on all the study of this scripture that you have done

    I LOVE this scripture...right now I have my own thoughts when I think these words.....STOP, JUST STOP and look at Me, allow Me to consume you, breathe out and stop

    Bless your heart, thank you for sharing. So thankful you have Him....He is in the business of redeeming.

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  6. Hi Stacy,

    I have enjoyed reading your blog. Lots of food for thought here. I came to read your "B" post for ABCs of the Word, but got caught up in your discussion about Jennifer Rothschild's book. I am not familiar with it but I put in a request at our library. Thanks for a great recommendation.

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