Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Chapter 1: When the Unthinkable Happens

Yesterday began the new Yes to God Tuesday study of Micca Campbell's book: AN UNTROUBLED HEART: FINDING A FAITH THAT IS STRONGER THAN ALL MY FEARS. If you would like to join, click on our gracious hostess' name, Lelia.

The title of this book, immediately, grabbed hold of my attention. I have grown tired of living a life steeped in fear. I began the journey to be rid of this fear close to 3 years ago and what a journey it continues to be. I am eager to read the insightful information within this book. (Quotes from the book are posted in red.)
A statement within the 1st paragraph of the "Introduction" captured a goal I am growing towards: "...I have been liberated from most of my fears by placing my faith in God instead of my circumstances." Oh, how I long for this to be true in my own life.
Micca's introduction continued with the words: "In the face of the unthinkable...fear uncovers truth. We're really not in control of anything, Control is only an illusion...realizing our helplessness isn't as bad as you might imagine, It's often the beginning of a new thing---a new dependence on God who is sovereign over all...There's nothing to fear when you and I are certain that God is in control and on our side...The truth is we don't have to go it alone...nothing can snatch us from His hand." The realization that I, in fact, wasn't in control was relieving and heart-shattering at the same time. I wish that I could say my dependence upon God was steadfast and secure but it continues to be a growing process. I am struggling with the truth of not being alone because I vividly remember times when I've felt so alone, regardless of this promise, and still find myself wondering 'where was God when...?
My heart broke as I read of the tragedy that occurred in Micca's life yet was amazed at the strength she drew upon to not only survive her loss but to share her story with others. "My story" is not nearly as devastating but it remains difficult to share. I must find the way to get beyond the "why" questions? My "why" questions are no longer in the sense of "why me?" (in a pitying sense) but in the sense of "why---what was/am I to learn from these experiences?" I can grasp the fact that God was aware of my circumstances (pg. 19) but God being involved in those circumstances is still difficult to comprehend.
Micca wrote: "God wants to teach us that's it's safe to trust Him. Even if we don't have all the answers, our past will never make sense until we invite God into our present." Including the Lord in my 'present' isn't where my difficulty lies---I continue to struggle with the simple acknowledgment of remembrances from my past. Micca wrote about her 1st step began when she chose to believe she was never alone (pg. 21). Can it really be that simple---just a concentrated choice? I am stubborn enough to stand by a personal choice yet continue to struggle with this concept. Her words on pg. 22 took hold of my heart and keep resonating within: "This is the God that gave life to you and me. Why would He do that and then leave us alone?" I've never thought of it that way before and I feel that seed taking root in my heart.
I love the words of Psalm 46:1: God is our refuge and strength always ready to help in times of trouble." Not meaning to present a case for pity; just stating a fact in that there have been very few truly "safe" places and the words "refuge" and "always ready..." imply a sense of loving consistency I am longing for. I can't wait to "...look to the end result of what our testing is accomplishing, then we can find joy in the midst of it...when adversity has its way, we mature..."

3 comments:

  1. Hi Stacy, yes, moving on from our past and relying solely on God is the only answer to freedom from fear, so we must learn to embrace that thinking to succeed. An easy ask? No. Do-able? Oh yes, and amen to that! I can't wait to read more from you next week! Paula :-)

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  2. Hi Stacy,

    I'm just now starting to be able to look at my past before I knew God and see Him in the midst of it all.

    Thank you for sharing your heart and questions so truthfully.

    Hugs.
    Carol

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