I have been so blessed with people whose life purpose is focused upon God. All that once seemed so important to me has fallen by the wayside; NOTHING matters more to me than learning more and more about God and knowing how to better love and better serve Him and others in my life.
Some days are harder than others. The ghosts of the past continue to have more power than I'd like them to have, but the power is dissipating. Some days I feel as if I am one of the walking wounded and other days, I feel as if I could soar like an eagle. I know that 'healing is a process' but how I am longing for consistency--especially in the emotional arena.
I know that all else pales in comparison to knowing, loving, and surrendering ALL to God but the control-freak inside of me is still, at times, gripped with fear about where this 'surrender' may lead. I acknowledge and repent of this fear because I know that this is a tool of Satan's to keep my heart within his grasp. After all, I HAVE NOTHING TO FEAR because my Lord can hold the ocean within the palms of His hands (see Isaiah 40) so I KNOW that He can and will handle all that comes my way.
So, I will continue on this journey, amidst the hills and valleys, while trusting that God has made me more than a conqueror (Romans 8) and that He can and will cast out all of my fears.