Sunday, May 10, 2009

Longings of my heart...

Tonight seems to be one of those dark nights that bring restless sleep to my body, bad dreams to my mind, tears to my eyes, and aches to my heart. I am hanging onto the promises of God. I know that He is true and that His loving-kindness will guide me through these sort of moments but the hurt remains.

I am missing loved ones that have gone on to be with the Lord. I am so glad that they made it home but selfishly, I want them here with me. I want one more hug. I want one more talk. I want one more chance to love them well. I want one more opportunity to be in their presence.

I am regretting relationships gone wrong and wonder if they may ever be restored, this side of heaven. I am wondering why and where they went wrong. I am wondering why I still care?

I am missing those who remain alive but for one reason or another are no longer part of my life.
My heart is heavy, my body is aching, and my tears are many. I am longing for simplicity. I am longing for emotional wholeness and health. I am longing for healing. I am longing for pure rest and true peace. I am longing to truly abide in the presence of my Lord without all of this baggage hanging from my soul.

4 comments:

  1. Sweetie, I wish I could be there to give you great big hugs, and to pray with you, and for you. Please know God loves you so very much, I love you too my friend.

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  2. Precious Stacy, I echo Denise's wish to be there physically with you. Your friendship is a gift from God that I truly treasure. Know I am praying for you in this valley, full of faith that you will be delivered. Maybe Jesus will come and get us today! If not, you and I both know He will sustain us. Love you, Sweet Sister!

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  3. Stacy,

    You are loved! I wish I could give you a hug or just sit with you, whatever you need. Prayers for you my friend.

    In His perfect Love,
    Tina

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  4. O Beloved, how I admire your transparency and appreciate your honesty in expressing such raw emotions and desires. I feel your pain. I have literally felt that pain and those same longings myself. One Sunday night in particular, I was in such emotional pain, crying loudly, and hurting so deeply I couldn’t even string two words together in any sort of prayer. But then I remembered my pastor’s sermon that day and a scripture he had read suddenly came to life. It gave me great comfort to know that the Holy Spirit was crying with me. Indeed, He was interceding for me with groanings too deep for words. Oh, thank the Lord! When I was unable to pray, it was okay. The Master-Pray-er was praying for me. I felt such peace, even in the midst of all the pain. Precious Stacy, make Romans 8:26-27 your own. Cling to it in those darkest moments. I love you, my darling niece. In His grip, Susan

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