Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Shame Off You...Chapter 3 "A Rose for a Rose"

(Direct quotes from the book are noted in red.)

This chapter began with the author’s memories of an occurrence within his congregation where each woman in the church was honored by the gift of a rose. He wrote a lengthy poignant “Spirit-led confession” in regards to the many ways in which women, young and old, have been dishonored and shamed in our world. His words were supernaturally honest, thoughtful, and healing while reminding us that we serve a God who sympathizes with our every wound. His words of confession/apology were hard to describe but incredibly worthwhile to read.

“The cycle of shame can only be broken when repentance replaces bitterness...healed when honor replaces dishonor. To let go of shame, you must let go of your own sinful reaction to it. Be angry but do not sin. Hold no judgment. Harbor no resentment. Nourish no bitter roots."

  • I've never considered how my response to the shame could, in and of itself, be sinful.
  • I can see how I've allowed my reactions to rule my life. That is unacceptable because Christ and He, alone, are to rule my life. 'Letting go' seems like a daunting task but I am thankful that "I can do all through Christ..."

The chapter closes with the now familiar ABC format:

Ask: "What bitter roots have sprung in my heart from the seeds of shame?"

Believe: No matter what depths I've experienced, I need harbor no bitterness, judgment, or resentment. I can be angry but not sin. I can grieve, but have hope.

Choose: I choose today to release bitterness, judgment, and resentment from my heart. While I may not have received an apology from my offenders, I forgive them on the confession of another. While I do not excuse the offense, I lift the offender unto God for His blessing.


  1. This is a good statement: “The cycle of shame can only be broken when repentance replaces bitterness..." To bitterness we could also add anger, worthlessness, defeatism, hostility, guilt. Shame directed against ourselves is a killer. Directed as you discuss here, and shame can be a catalyst from God to help us change our lives.

    I forwarded your site on to another preacher who speaks a lot about shame. Good job here.

  2. Love that sharing the book study you're currently doing!! :) Great job!