I want so much to believe all that God has promised yet still struggle with so much doubt and uncertainty. If someone else is expressing the things that I am inwardly experiencing, I have the "right answers", the "proper Scriptures", and will faithfully pray for them. But for reasons I can't quite comprehend, I continue to feel as if I am the exception to the rule of God's grace, forgiveness, goodness, mercy and love even though I KNOW that is not true. I know that I am not to base my decisions, etc. on 'feelings' but on the Truths from God. But it can be so difficult at times; especially when the feelings come on so strong---even in the midst of sleep.
A friend recommended that I read and truly study a book by Robert McGee titled Search for Significance. I am praying for the Spirit to guide me to the truths in this book that I so desperately need to grasp hold of. I love my God and I know He loves me but the journey continues to be filled with moments of fear and weary and I know that is not what God intends for me in my relationship with Him.