Thursday, April 29, 2010

Friday Fill-ins we go!

1. I was
so happy to hear my precious nephew's voice on my answering machine.
I remain amazed with my absent-mindedness that causes me to repeatedly lose focus and I left my book at work once again, even though I made post-it note reminders and an email reminder.

3. Why do some people seem to thrive on chaos?
My much-loved and much-missed friend, David was in my thoughts today. His smile, hug, and loving words are missed so much!
5. One of my father's favorite sayings was
"guran-damn-tee it". As if there aren't enough curse words available, one must insert one in the middle of a commonly used word.

6. Wondering if this week will ever be over--I know that feeling!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to
spending the evening with my mom, tomorrow my plans include taking items to Goodwill, taking a return to Walmart, grocery shopping, cleaning, and mapping out the remainder of the school year and Sunday, I want to participate in the special luncheon regarding Mission Efforts at Bethel with the prayers that all will be encouraged to participate and support the local and world-wide opportunities that God has made available!

Saturday, April 17, 2010

Shock is dissippating but consequences...

...of recent actions/choices are heartbreakingly heavy.  The conflict continues and I believe Satan will allow it to continue, unless, conversation, concerning the matters at hand cease.  I have said all that I know to say. As I stated in my previous post, my words from the beginning of this "conflict" were pridefully defensive rather than being led by God.

I, continue, to feel at peace, that my responses since the initial confrontation/s, have been Spirit-led, though I'm sure far from perfect.  Most, if not all,  of my offered responses have been met with resistance, hostility, and accusations stemming from words in 13+ years of conversations that have been taken out of context, turned hurtful and hateful and exaggerated to the point of becoming blatant lies. I never would have imagined all that has been said ever becoming a reality.

I know that Satan is rejoicing that a division has, indeed, occurred but I am equally confident that the Lord, in His own ways and in His own timing, will use all of this ugliness to further His goodness.  (Though, admitttedly, it would be nice to know how and when...)  Thankfully, I have come to discover that the majority of my husband's family do not agree with the arrogant, self-righteous judgments that have been made.  The fact seems to be that it involves 1 sibling of my brother and 2 of her 3 children totally backing her by her word alone.  I am comforted by the idea that not "all" have struck out against me in this way but I absolutely HATE that stress and hurt that this has caused for so many. 

I responded to the latest accusations after allowing time to "cool off", spending much time in prayer, and seeking Godly counsel from trusted friends, family, and leaderships which included  both "religions" (one of which my sister-in-law has stated to be the "ONE, TRUE, church" and the one she has chosen to condemn.)  Apparrently and thankfully, my amazement of God is never going to cease----both "leaderships" advised the exact same response in removing myself from the situation...more of less told to stop attempting to fight the battles that belong to God; be quiet, be still, stand, trust, and anticipate being further amazed bu the goodness and power of God.

I will, prayerfully, stick by the decision made to be silent, be still, and let God be God.  THANK YOU to all who have encouraged me by your "comments" and direct emails.  I don't believe that I could adequately express how much the prayers and comfort have meant to me during this difficult time.  Please continue to be in prayer for the Lord's will to be done and especially for my husband, Wayne, to find peace, comfort, wisdom, and guidance to deal with what has been truly heart-wrenching.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Still reeling from the shock…

of all that has occurred within the past week. What started out as an enjoyable "annual in-law-family get-together" at Easter has turned into something I would have NEVER imagined. There was a minor misunderstanding before this annual event that my husband and I host each year for 70+ of his family members. I was so thankful that a family member called beforehand to "clear the air" so nothing negative was hanging over the annual lunch and egg-hunt. I was under the impression that all been resolved and honestly, hadn't thought any more of the simple misunderstanding before it was brought to my attention by 3 others that another family member was still very upset. I was saddened to hear this and waited until all of the festivities were over before approaching this person and asking to speak privately (one-to-one) in hopes to put this minor issue aside. I am still in shock of how such a simple issue brought about a personal attack that I NEVER saw coming.

Those whom, even remotely, "know" me know that I am among the least confrontational group of people around. My entire life, up until very recently, has been all about keeping peace, regardless of the personal costs, to avoid anyone being hurt/saddened/angered, etc. My approaching this family member was to simply encourage her that if and when I did/said/wrote anything that offended her, that I would appreciate and welcome her coming to me before discussing whatever issue with numerous other family members. By the time this short conversation had ended, I had literally been judged and condemned to hell because I had chosen to "…leave THE Lord's church…" I was hurt by the words that were spoken and unlike me, immediately reacted. I regret and have sought forgiveness for my wounded pride leading me to say some things in anger that could have been handled in a much Godlier manner.

Since that afternoon, several emails have surfaced within the family (addressed as a large group) in which it seems that there are those who truly think that I am going to hell because I no longer attend the congregation that they believe is the "…only, one, TRUE church…"

So much has been said. I've only been able to respond to one accusation, which, unfortunately, fueled the fire to spread through rebuttal and arguments. I have declined to "speak" of the issue any further b/c of the absurdity that such a simple conversation escalated into the presumed "…lost condition of my soul…" For one to come at me with this "concern" in the midst of being confronted about a totally-unrelated issue has led me to believe that this is not/was not a true, genuine, loving, relational 'concern' since not family member had spoken of the "…deep grief that accompanies my eternal separation from God…" until I chose to approach them about a trivial matter that could have and should have been resolved by the act of common courtesy, much less the Biblical principle, to go to a brother 1st about a problem before involving others. There does not seem to be a foreseeable end to this chaos.

I am at peace, in my heart, b/c I know, without a doubt, that I am secure in my walk with God and that my motives were pure though my actions and words were not perfect. But I am heartbroken by the strife this has caused within the family--- especially my husband; he is being 100% supportive of me, yet is in the middle of this "conflict".

Please join me in prayer that this may be resolved soon with God's name being glorified above all. I know that He can use this ugly, prideful, sinful mess for His glory, but in the "waiting" for Him to do so, my husband is being torn in two, anger is escalating, and relationships are breaking down.