Saturday, April 10, 2010

Still reeling from the shock…

of all that has occurred within the past week. What started out as an enjoyable "annual in-law-family get-together" at Easter has turned into something I would have NEVER imagined. There was a minor misunderstanding before this annual event that my husband and I host each year for 70+ of his family members. I was so thankful that a family member called beforehand to "clear the air" so nothing negative was hanging over the annual lunch and egg-hunt. I was under the impression that all been resolved and honestly, hadn't thought any more of the simple misunderstanding before it was brought to my attention by 3 others that another family member was still very upset. I was saddened to hear this and waited until all of the festivities were over before approaching this person and asking to speak privately (one-to-one) in hopes to put this minor issue aside. I am still in shock of how such a simple issue brought about a personal attack that I NEVER saw coming.

Those whom, even remotely, "know" me know that I am among the least confrontational group of people around. My entire life, up until very recently, has been all about keeping peace, regardless of the personal costs, to avoid anyone being hurt/saddened/angered, etc. My approaching this family member was to simply encourage her that if and when I did/said/wrote anything that offended her, that I would appreciate and welcome her coming to me before discussing whatever issue with numerous other family members. By the time this short conversation had ended, I had literally been judged and condemned to hell because I had chosen to "…leave THE Lord's church…" I was hurt by the words that were spoken and unlike me, immediately reacted. I regret and have sought forgiveness for my wounded pride leading me to say some things in anger that could have been handled in a much Godlier manner.

Since that afternoon, several emails have surfaced within the family (addressed as a large group) in which it seems that there are those who truly think that I am going to hell because I no longer attend the congregation that they believe is the "…only, one, TRUE church…"

So much has been said. I've only been able to respond to one accusation, which, unfortunately, fueled the fire to spread through rebuttal and arguments. I have declined to "speak" of the issue any further b/c of the absurdity that such a simple conversation escalated into the presumed "…lost condition of my soul…" For one to come at me with this "concern" in the midst of being confronted about a totally-unrelated issue has led me to believe that this is not/was not a true, genuine, loving, relational 'concern' since not family member had spoken of the "…deep grief that accompanies my eternal separation from God…" until I chose to approach them about a trivial matter that could have and should have been resolved by the act of common courtesy, much less the Biblical principle, to go to a brother 1st about a problem before involving others. There does not seem to be a foreseeable end to this chaos.

I am at peace, in my heart, b/c I know, without a doubt, that I am secure in my walk with God and that my motives were pure though my actions and words were not perfect. But I am heartbroken by the strife this has caused within the family--- especially my husband; he is being 100% supportive of me, yet is in the middle of this "conflict".

Please join me in prayer that this may be resolved soon with God's name being glorified above all. I know that He can use this ugly, prideful, sinful mess for His glory, but in the "waiting" for Him to do so, my husband is being torn in two, anger is escalating, and relationships are breaking down.


  1. Bless your dear heart, will be praying for you.

  2. Stacy,
    I'm so sorry to hear, I will pray that God will give you the grace and wisdom needed. I am glad that God has given you peace, you know you are a child of His.

    Hugs and prayers,
    your sister in Christ,

  3. Stacy,

    My heart is rejoicing, because amongst an attack, your faith and knowledge that nothing can separate you from our Lord is so evident. Also that your husband is being a husband that has cleaved to his wife and is supporting her.

    I will pray for you, your husband, and your family members that God restores peace into your family, and removes the strife.

    Love and hugs to you and your husband.

    Your sister in Christ,

  4. Stacy,
    I am sorry to hear about the hurt and brokenness that is surrounding you right now. It is difficult to understand, I know, but stand firm in what you know to be true, take responsibility for your own part, and give the rest up to the God who is totally aware of it ALL!
    Hugs and prayers for you and your husband.
    Praying His peace and miraculous healing. May HE be glorified!
    Love in Him,

  5. Stacy,
    I have been praying and am hoping things are moving toward reconciliation. I understand very well this belief system of "one true church" and how hurtful it can be. you are in my thoughts and prayers, friend!