Its hard to type out the words to match my thoughts when tears keep blurring my view.
Everything seems blurry right now---physically, spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I am in disbelief that one can hurt this much yet still be breathing.
I want so much to know what is the "right thing" to do but I am not seeing it! I have been studying Scriptures, reading articles, praying continually, listening to the advice of others, etc. Am I not able to discern what is right because God is wanting me to be still or am I simply too dumb/blind to see? The uncertainties and the fears are heartbreaking. The not knowing and conflicting views are frustrating. The hurt is exhausting.
Earlier today, I compiled a list of what I knew with certainty:
God is for me.
I am His daughter and He wants what is best for me.
I am to rely on Him. Moment by moment. Without fear.
It is wrong for me to seek out my needs from others outside of the relationships that are pleasing to Him.
He is my strength.
He is my purpose.
He will make my paths straight.
He will let His will be known.
I am to be guided His love, His power, His wisdom.
Not by my selfish desires. Not be fear.
Not by shame.
I am to wait upon the Lord and continually seek Him above all.
A dear friend, Amber N. sent me a song through the Facebook newsfeed with her assurance of belief in me . Her timing to do so was perfect and the lyrics of the song are so powerful. Truly touched my heart and helped me to catch my breath.