And it's done...
all that can be said has been said.
All that could have been done is done.
Attempting to place band-aids on a severed artery will not lead to healing.
Despite the fact that we have been emotionally separated for years, the emotions in this decision are running high. Feeling incredibly sad yet markedly relieved. I HATE that he is hurting but that alone is not enough to build or rebuild a sustainable relationship.
I realized that marriage counseling would only serve as a means of closure, not in an attempt at reconciliation. A healthy relationship cannot exist without an open relationship. An open relationship can't exist without trust. That trust doesn't exist and hasn't for a very long time, if ever.
I don't blame him for everything. I am willing and able, through the grace of God, to take on the responsibilities of my own failures. I KNOW there will be a light at the end of this dark tunnel.
Though my heart is breaking, I am confident that my choice to pursue a divorce is based on the fact that I MUST take responsibility for my life and my healing. I know that the healing will not be instantaneous but knowing that it, indeed, will happen is enough.