The hardest of the hard days ARE getting better but what I would give to have my thoughts be silent! I "thought" myself into a frenzy today---full blown frenzy with tears, vomiting, and the cancellation of plans I was really looking forward to with my buddy, Susan. Weary of these emotional ups and downs but holding fast to the promise that God IS in control and I AM being taken care of.
My frustration and pain mainly come from knowing that I was willing to be and do anything/everything for Husband and he wasn't willing to do the same. I realize that the healthy view on this is to realize that is more about him than me BUT I can't help but wonder why wasn't he willing...am I not deserving...why is it so hard to love me...? Questions that only serve to drive me to emotional chaos. A while back, I compiled a list of Satan's lies counter-acted with God's truths. I'm thinking it's time to find that and refresh my tired heart. Wondering why the lies are always easier to believe.