Monday, October 20, 2014

Book Study: Life After Divorce

(Life After Divorce: Create A New Beginning written by Sharon Wegscheider-Cruse)

Chapter 1: Divorce Possibilities, Action versus Fear

I. Introduction

  • We may feel we have failed.
  • We may question if this is the end of the world or the beginning of a new world?
  • One must own their personal experiences and use those to turn your life around.
II. The Event of Divorce

  • "...the shattering of fondest hopes and fantasies..." that will prompt a wide variety of emotions
  • For one to heal from the trauma of divorce, they must let go of self-doubt and work towards gaining the confidence to pursue your life's new direction
  • # 1 contributing factor that leads to divorce is the lack of basic emotional connection (emotional intimacy)
  • Divorce may introduce you to yourself, especially if you've been partially hidden in the process of adapting to the needs and personality of someone else. 
  • Only by doing something can we discover how string and capable we really are. If you don't know who you are, you won't know where you are going. But if you don't start going, you won't start finding out who you are.
III. Practical Steps

  • Accept that full singleness does not occur at the same moment for everyone. 
  • Comparing your feelings and actions to another isn't helpful. Remember that we are each unique.
  • If we are to be fully alive, we will actively live with the changes that are occurring.
IV. Affirmations

  • "...Today is the only day that really exists...When I allow the past to become very powerful, I will miss out on what's happening today...Dwelling on the past drains energy I could be using to focus on the present...I won't forget but I will say good-bye. I will use what it has taught me to fashion a key to the future---a tool to help, not hinder...I am not who I was yesterday. I am not who I will be but I am getting there one day at a time.

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