Thursday, October 9, 2014

Realizations

As I was driving home from meeting with "my counselor" this evening, it dawned on me how much Kurt reminds me of David. That explains why I've found it to be significantly easier than usual in sharing life details that generally are hard for me to share and express. 

Like David was, (oh, how my heart still hurts using past tense when referring to Dave), Kurt is a quiet, gentle-speaking man who obviously puts much thought and prayer in what he chooses to say and do. Both have shown kindness and fearlessness in speaking the truth in love, not in judgment or condemnation. Both have shared thoughtful wisdom and I imagine Kurt to be as fiercely devoted to those whom he cares about as David was to those he held dear. 

Of course, I can't "read" Kurt's mannerisms and expressions as I could with David after having shared a much loved friendship for close to 27 years. But a certain calmness and familiarity are felt and very much appreciated. What I wouldn't give to sit across from Dave in a restaurant booth or sit out at his family's farm talking while appreciating the beauty of the moonlit, starry nights. How I would love to have his loving insight on all of the current circumstances. Time healing all wounds isn't true. The more time passes, the more I miss him and long for one more talk...one more hug. I will never regret the time I was allowed with him despite the intense hurt at losing him far before I ever imagined.

I find it ironic that so many people have offered to "be here if I want to talk" and that the one person I would most like to talk to right now about anything and everything won't communicate with me but trusting that there's a reason for all things regardless of how maddening it can be. I long for the day when all will make some sort of sense.

I met this afternoon with a support staff person for a new student that will soon be enrolled in my class. There seems to be a lot of "labels" on this young child and I am praying that he will be able to come be a part of our classroom family and simply enjoy being who he is while learning and participating with his peers. Looks to be a challenge, for sure, but I know that all is being done in the best interests of this child and I feel privileged to be whatever part of the process. 

After such a crazy, off-schedule week, TGIF will hold a much more appreciated meaning as the alarm sounds in the morning. 

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