Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Country roads, gunfire and starry nights

Shaky moments, both physically and emotionally, last night and throughout today. I must do whatever is necessary to build up my immune system. This business of catching every illness that comes through my classroom has gotten old along with the dreaded pay docks. Feeling so bad physically is definitely not helping out emotionally. But I have an action plan.

Plan #1: I was able to find a local physician and just need to return the paperwork. Ms. Rene said she would forward my medical records as soon as requested. Her office is the last one in Tyler to be replaced. Sad but relieving.

Plan #2: Get on a regular sleep schedule. So much easier said than done.

Plan #3: Me and a few other friends are joining together to complete the "From the Couch to a 5K in a matter of 6 weeks" program. With my back, foot and knee issues, running isn't an option at this time but walking is a can do and a will do. I'm grateful to be doing this with a small group of buddies because the accountability will do me good. Ordered new shoes tonight and will do the first 5K in June. Hesitatingly excited!!

I slept fitfully last night and even rolled right out of the bed TWICE(!!) My out-of-shape self felt the effects of that throughout the day. (Haha!) When I awakened during the night, I was so disoriented that it took me a few minutes to remember where I was. I was super glad to see the sun rise and praying that tonight will be much more restful.

Tears were threatening throughout the entire day and the downpour came as I drove home. My tendency to overthink ALL things can be both a blessing and a curse. The time spent with my students was good but those quiet, still moments were haunting.

The emotions felt while preparing a package to send of things I'd hoped to personally deliver was harder than I anticipated. The feelings in sending the final package of belongings back to Tyler also caught me off guard. Necessary but unpleasant tasks.

I told Amber and Sheryl last night that something had to give because I was wound up way too tight so Amber invited me to the shooting range with her and her husband tonight.

It's been YEARS since I've shot a gun and I was a lil' nervous because I've not been around Rob very much. Ended up having SO MUCH FUN!! The original plan was the shooting range but we ended up out in the country and shot around a pond. I think I may have found a new favorite hobby. I even loved the smell of the gunpowder! I was able to shoot a 9mm pistol and a 45 along with an AR-15 with a suppressor. The 45 was my least favorite. The AR-15 was AMAZING!! Loved it!! Rob got so tickled that he let me do two rounds of ammunition. So much fun and surprisingly therapeutic! I'm still not certain which type of gun I'd like to purchase but I now know it's on the must-do list.

Sitting around the pond reminded me how much I miss being out at the lake. I've no idea where I got my like for the outdoors from because I certainly didn't grow up around such but fishing, shooting, four-wheeling, and hanging out by a campfire could be a thing I'd easily enjoy every weekend. Hardest part is finding someone who likes the same. I'm not really a tomboy but I'm definitely not a girly-girl either. Praying that God will bring just the right people into this new chapter of life. I'm so blessed by the new opportunities but loneliness still runs deep after leaving 20 years of daily relationships behind.

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