Monday, February 16, 2015

Increased Peace

Today was an odd day. Students had the day off and I attended inservice meetings for the most of the day. The day went much quicker than anticipated.

The allotted time to simply sit still and listen was good. I was able to think clearly about several things. I made some definite plans for the remainder of the school year along with some personal decisions. I'm feeling an increased sense of peace each day and I'm so grateful.

I was able to type up a 3 page letter to husband. I'm not yet certain whether I'll send it or not but seeing my thoughts in black and white were helpful to me. It's strange that what once was such a valued friendship has dissipated down to only words on a page.

I hesitate to communicate through writing because I found out the hard way how words in a letter, an email or a text can be misconstrued. The danger lies in the reader placing their own tone in the writings and messages are received that were never intended on being accepted as they were. I won't make that mistake again. Texts, emails and such are best suited for frivolous thoughts and factual information. Any "serious" conversation will be heard not read.

Compiling the requests from the lawyer have been exhausting. I know God has His hand on this process but the length of time it has taken leaves me weary. I know the hurt won't simply disappear at the final declaration but I am praying that the sense of closure will be a significant step in the healing process.

Spring Break is coming soon. I thought about meeting a friend in Searcy but it would be too hard to be there knowing that TLS doesn't care to see me so contemplating other plans. Maybe Oklahoma? Maybe time with Leslie and Teresa will work out. I'd also love to see Keith and Vickie and possibly Randy but going to Greenville isn't at all appealing. I'd also love to spend some time with Susan but Tyler isn't much more appealing. Maybe I'll just stay home and explore this area. Decisions, decisions...

My finances may greatly alter any plans so I best just take it one day at a time.

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