BORROWED WORDS FROM www.stephanieclayton.org
(CAPITALIZED WORDS ARE MINE)
To you that feels broken…afraid…lonely…in a tough spot…I NEVER IMAGINED THE PAST 8 MONTHS WOULD HAVE RESULTED IN WHAT IS. I AM NEVER ABOVE REPROACH BUT I WILL NOT APOLOGIZE FOR DOING WHAT I TRULY FEEL IS IN THE BEST INTEREST OF THE CHILDREN ENTRUSTED TO MY CARE NOR WILL I BE A PAWN IN THE SENSELESS POLITICS THAT SOMETIMES RULE AN EDUCATIONAL SYSTEM.
If there was an easier place to go, you would have gone…but you are here… HERE AND ATTEMPTING TO BE FILLED WITH GRACIOUSNESS AND KINDNESS DESPITE THE GLARING INCONSISTENCIES AND HURT FEELINGS.
The place where the weight of the world meets your shoulders in a fiery crash. I get it. TRULY DO NOT UNDERSTAND HOW PEOPLE SURVIVE THE DAY TO DAY WITHOUT HAVING HOPE IN A HEAVENLY FATHER WHO CAN AND WILL CAUSE ALL THINGS TO BE WORKED OUT FOR HIS BEST.
Shame and hurt have not abandoned you, although you certainly wish they would. They hang on tight like a rod wrapped around a string. Pulling you this way and that. Seems so unfair. And at times irrational and illogical. How many broken pieces can one already shattered heart hold. But God sees you. HIS AWARENESS, HIS COMFORT, HIS PEACE AND HIS GUIDANCE ARE IMMEASUARBLE.
It hurts. But you are bold. You have strength. It’s strength of far greater value than gold. Not your own. But bought at the highest price. Paid for. It’s yours. PRAYING DESPARATELY TO REMEMBER THIS TRUTH IN THE MOMENTS OF BEING OVERWHELMED WITH SADNESS AND ANGER.
You are going to be ok. Today. Tomorrow. Forever. It’s not a chance or gamble. Your bends and breaks are known. He’s noticed every salty sweaty tear. Each bendy twisted place. The knots tied over again and now solidified by fear can still be undone. I know this for sure. SO GRATEFUL THAT HE IS TRUTH AND HE FULLY KNOWS WHAT IS TRUE. PRAYING THAT HE WILL LEAD ALL TO THE AWARENESS AND ACCEPTANCE OF WHAT IS TRUE.
The pressure you place on yourself to be ok, right here, right now, is not necessary. You may not be ok. And that is ok. All God’s people endure fiery trials. They aren’t what makes us clean but they are what makes Holy. GRATEFUL THAT I AM ACCEPTED JUST AS I AM. MU UTMOST DESIRE IS TO LIVE IN A GENUINE, AUTHENTIC WAY THAT ALLOWS OTHERS TO FEEL COMFORTABLE IN DOING THE SAME.
Small shards of broken glass that when put together make a glorious window. A unique lens through which we view the Savior. SHARDS OF BROKENESS IS AMAZINGLY AND ACCURATELY DESCRIPTIVE.
Dear friend, He sees you. It’s rough. But the water you swim in is safe. Take a breath and keep pressing on. Lift up a Hallelujah even when it’s grey. The clouds will part. Where He multiplies suffering there is fertile soil for healing. It’s planted and on the way. Prepare your heart and home for the harvest. In the end it’s going to be a blessing.